Illusion

sometimes i wish i could make time stop
freeze a moment forever
as i long to hold
this feeling inside of me
for another second
but i can't
in an instant
reality creeps back in on me
as a dark cloud rolls over my sky
and i lose it
i lose him.
i grope in the dark
trying to find him
trying to remember how it was
how it felt like
but i can't find him
i can't even remember
then i finally realize
its time to let go
coz i can't feel anymore
numb from all that was
trying to believe it was indeed reality
only half-believing it was
but it had to be real!
but then again, it probably wasn't
it was just probably a mind game
a cheap trick
it was never real
so there's no reason to look
no reason to feel
its goodbye, i guess
to something that was never really here.

written 17:44 feb 28, 2005