Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

After 10 thousand years, I decided to catch up on my reading… :D

Mere Christianity didn’t start out as a good and relaxing read for me. Lewis, being one of the greatest thinkers of our time, demanded that you think along with him on what Christianity really is. As for me, my idea of a relaxing read was a nicely written, easy to read book. (Now you know why I love JK Rowling. :P) So it really wasn’t wise for me to read a Lewis and expect a “good and relaxing” read. But heck, the book cost me 500 bucks and it would be a waste not to read it. So I read it.



The book turned out to be a real enjoyable read. Apparently, you could still be entertained even with a deep and thought-provoking book. Lewis went to the core of Christianity, boldly stripping it bare of denominations. He covered the hardest of topics with impeccable logic and with a witty sense of humor. And you really see his Christian journey in this book, how he started out an atheist, but after much thought (and I mean much thought) and research - found God. Lewis actually brought me to the point of shame in this book. He made me realize that I do not really give much thought to what I believe in and why I believe in it. We are truly too lazy to think these days.



More than being a good book for atheists, agnostics or doubters of the Christian faith in general – it is also a good book for believers. Lewis takes his readers on a short yet sweet apologetics course. But more then knowledge, I think the biggest impact of this book on me was how it has challenged me to think, question and reason what I believe in – because I realized that that journey would not really be doubting my faith, but rather God would want me to do that because He knows it would take me to a greater understanding of Him. And He knows I would never be disappointed, but stand in greater awe of who He truly is.

Chastised by God

To be disciplined by God is not a fun thing. It is hard, heavy and reduces the seemingly strongest man to tears. And because of my stubbornness, I must admit that I’ve been chastised by Him lately.

It’s tough. Every fiber of my being wants to tell God that it’s unfair, and that He is being too harsh. But I know deep down that I deserve more, and that He has been more than gracious to me and have even injected some humor into the whole “chastisement” process.

And with this comes the discovery of my blind spots - of how I unknowingly displease Him and sin. This sifting process I think is the key to the Christian life, Christ constantly puts us in the furnace to allow the impurities in our lives to surface, and once they do, He cleans them out.

Hebrews 12:6

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Thanks Dad.

Who am I?

Who is the person who knows you best? Your parents perhaps? A brother, a sister, or maybe a best friend… but they don’t really know you, do they? Because no matter how much a person may think they know you, there will still always be a part of you that will be hidden to them – a facet of you they will never see; some hidden thought deep inside your head they will never hear. Or maybe you know yourself best… after all, you know every thought that runs through your head - you feel your feelings like no one else could - you dream dreams that are yours and yours alone. But do you really? Know yourself, I mean? Is there anyone in this world who can actually say they fully, truly know themselves?

Me, I don’t think I know myself at all. I can go so far as to tell you the things I like and the things I don’t. But I can tell you nothing beyond that. I don’t know why I like the things I like, why I yearn for the things I yearn for, or why I sometimes do the things I do. For instance, I know I like coffee, but I cannot really explain to you why I like it. I guess I love its taste and its soothing aroma… I like how it relaxes me and energizes me at the same time... but I can’t explain to you why it touches my soul unlike any other drink. It loosens me up and puts me in such great mood. You can almost get me drunk with it. You see? I cannot even explain to you why I like a single drink. I mean, why don’t I like tea as much? If I really knew myself, wouldn’t I be able to explain a thing as simple as that? “Why I like coffee over tea”. But I just can’t. Because at the end of the day, I don’t know why I feel the things I feel, and love the things I love. I am a stranger to myself.

It makes me realize how limited I am. How small.

They say that all the other animals in the natural world have their own “defense mechanisms”. Bees have their sting, lions have their canines, chameleons their camouflage, seals their blubber, the list goes on… but we men don’t. Men are born naked, vulnerable; having no natural defenses at all. And we don’t grow them in time either. We remain as vulnerable as we were born all throughout our lives.

We are also the only beings on earth who do not know our real purpose. I mean even the ants know their purpose from the day they are hatched. Bees know they are meant to forage for honey - they even know where to find it without anyone teaching them! Snakes know they are meant to hunt small mammals; elephants know they’re vegetarians. But we people, we are instinctively lost.

So, we are born naked, vulnerable and without a purpose. And, we hardly know ourselves. Great isn’t it? But I realize God meant us to be that way. When He created us, He purposed us to be naked. He designed us to be vulnerable. And He didn’t program a clear-cut purpose for us like he did the ants or the bees. Why? I believe that we are born naked so that we will realize and know that we need Him. We are vulnerable so we can depend on Him. And we are lost until we go to Him and seek the person who truly knows us.

Life is indeed a complicated thing to a mind as limited as ours. There is so much we don’t know and understand. But my hope is in one thing, and that is there is Someone up there who knows what He is doing. And more than that, He is committed to see me through this life – committed to guide, teach and love me. I know that someday, I will understand.

“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

Bless the Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to take the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of His grander plan, that is coming true

Every long lost dream, led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were just northern stars
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
And led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into your loving arms
This much I know, I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes, God blessed the broken road
And lead me straight to you

This was a song shared to me by everdearest Katre. I think it is a song of hope for all those who made the mistake of giving their hearts to the wrong person at one point or another in their lives.

It actually hurtled me back in time when the Lord was healing the wounds of my heart from a broken relationship that ended some 9 years ago. I felt that I had MESSED UP big ime with this relationship and I really believed that I was doomed to carry the wounds of this mistake for the rest of my life. But the Lord threw me a statement that brought me to my knees... "Peggy, you can never make a mess big enough that I cannot clean it up."

Woah. Yes, its true. He says in Isaiah 1:18-20 - "Come now and let us argue this out, says the Lord. No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool. If you will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty to eat. But if you keep turning away and refusing to listen, you will be destroyed by your enemies. I, the Lord, have spoken." He also says in Romans 8:28 - "And we know that God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

And so slowly, I have learned to trust God more. I have learned to look at my past not as a stumbling block, but rather a stepping stone towards God's perfect plan for me. And I've come to realize that the Lord is bigger than my past, my mistakes, and my imperfect family. In fact, He was the one who designed my special and unique cup of suffering. It is this cup that would make me grow, heal my wounds and draw me nearer to Him.

I'm not saying that I've learned it all, or that it's easy. God knows there are still days of when a tinge of doubt clouds over my heart. But a single glance back at the road I've walked with the Lord these past 5 years drives all my doubts away. I'm just glad that at the end of the day, it is His GRACE that sustains me.

Deal With It.

I havent blogged in ages - and I've realized its because I don't want to deal with certain stuff in my life lately. I just want to forget about them, to pretend for a moment that such problems do not exist in my life. But I guess you can only run for so long. Undealt issues always have a knack of catching up with you when you least expect it. And so here I am.. crying, blogging.. dealing.

Lesson no. 1. Turn to God.
I haven't been doing this lately, actually, instead of turning to God, I turn AWAY from Him. And the effects of that are disastrous. After all, He is the only one who can comfort me, the only one who can heal me. I try to run away and nurse my wound on my own, but I'm no healer... I only end up hurting myself more. And so these past few days, the Lord has been teaching me to turn to Him for everything.. from the biggest hurts to the smallest disappointments.

Lesson no. 2. God knows what He's doing.
I've just recently finished the book of Revelations. I've read it before but I've never understood it as clearly as I do now. I'm just amazed at how everything has been planned out by God since the beginning of time. Even before He created you or me, or even Adam and Eve.. or even the angels... He already knew what was to happen. Everything from the creation, to the fall of man, to how God would redeem us by sending His son to die in our place.. even to things we have not yet seen and could only imagine... like the 2nd coming of Christ, how the saints who were martyred will reign with Him for 1000 years, how there will be judgement afterwards, and how God will take us with Him to the new Jerusalem... Its all been planned out.

So as God's children, we are SECURE. We will surely spend eternity with Him forever. He promises that "The dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Rev 21:3-4

It is sobering to realize how little we are in the greater scheme of things. How puny and utterly powerless. And how much better off we are to trust in God, who holds EVERYTHING at the palm of his hands.

Lord, I thank you for these lessons. Thank you for taking time to mold me into the person you want me to be. I love you.

Hillsong United in Manila

There are many things I take for granted in life, but one of the biggest things I take for granted is the priviledge of praising my God. I knew I was going to this concert weeks before the actual date. But I did nothing to prepare my heart to worship my King. And it struck me how complacent I have become when it comes to praising Him. But praise God for the Hillsong United band, they really opened my eyes to how awesome it is to praise our God!

Da best tlga yung concert! I mean, solemn songs may bring such immense peace to the heart, but Christian rock songs bring such joyful intensity to the soul that you cant help but cry out to THE GOD of heaven and earth! And standing in the midst of a screaming crowd - all shouting, and jumping and screaming to Jesus... its just beyond description... No one cheered for Hillsong that night, all cheers went up to God! It was all about Him! I had goosebumps when the crowd started chanting, and just chanting the name of Jesus! Easy lang! It is truly the only name worthy of praise! If I can utter only one word, it would be that name! Jesus!

For all who were there, it is but a taste of what we will experience in heaven. Most of us have this boring notion of heaven, that we will all be angels carrying harps and we'll fly around the rest of our lives in heaven with our golden wings... but that is the FARTHEST from the truth! We are talking about the God who created the most exciting, wildest and most dangerous things ever known to man! He created the wildest wilderness, the deserts, jungles, crocs, sharks, He created rock music, hiphop rhythm and dance! He IS excitement incarnate! I could only imagine what an awesome and exciting place heaven would be!




The crowd jumping and praising God


A taste of heaven...

** Pic and Vid courtesy of Jayjay.

A Nokia and Jayjay Saturday

Im baaaack!!!! Hehehe, I haven't blogged here in ages!!!

Anyway, since I wasn't able to blog about this experience, might as well start with this :) I was actually supposed to write about this at my multiply account, but jayjay beat me to the story. Check out his blog about this here. Okay, if you're wondering who jayjay is, he's the guy in the pic.

Now about my saturday... after some official CCF business in the morning and early afternoon, I was an official bum in the late afternoon. So I went with jayjay to the Podium, since he had to meet someone there to give them something and I had nothing to do. After the meeting, we went to CDR-King because he needed some blank CDs. Now, right across CDR-King was Nokia! So we decided to go in and drool over Nokia's newest phones.

When we got in, the N73 caught Jayjay's attention. It had a 3.2 megapixel cam! We were checking it out when a saleslady approached us and asked us if we wanted to have our pic taken by the phone. They said they would then print it for us for free! Jayjay immediately agreed! ;) So they took our pic and printed it on this beautiful Kodak photo printer (major drool talaga). BTW, this pic's scanned. We forgot to ask for the original file from the girl. So Jayjay scanned it and sent it to me.



What do you think? Not bad noh? :D

Why I Have Not Been Blogging

Well, it's been quite a stressful and hectic few weeks. It's been filled with work, ministry, health problems and even problems at home.

1st With work, there's the Rail Billing, more populaly none as RB. The module I'm coding right now is right about done, just some minor changes and then its the dreaded QAT (Quality Assurance Test). I don't know, but QA is just not my thing. I guess I'm not meticulous enough and somehow, I just can't think of all the things that could possibly go wrong with the system. Hey I'm an optimist! =P But, but, but.. I'm not complaining, coz work is a blessing! Hehe, and speaking of blessings at work, our team got a TIP (Take It Personally) award. Actually, 8 of us did... which is a real blessing from God. Thanks Lord! =)

With Ministry, there's the Youth Sunday Chronicle... It was really tiring and stressful to layout everything in just 1 day. Jerome, I hope you do send all the contents earlier next time! =P Hehe, I guess Katre is right, when it comes to layouting, crunch time na talaga.. it's really usually last minute. But thanks to God, and the prayers of people and of course to the help and servant heart of Zeus (naks), umabot ang Chronicle sa printing! Woohoo! Praise God! And the feedback has been really good. :D

Aside from that, there's also the promo stuff for the DLSU Retreat. I've finally finished it! Yey! Hehe, but I still have to make the vertical poster as well as the Reg Form. =S Drew! Extend my deadline please!

About my health, I find that my ear has been ringing for the past couple of weeks. And my headaches have gotten worse. For those of you who don't know, I suffer from vertigo and chronic MCH, and its been showing itself these past few weeks. I went to a Medicard doctor... and he's pretty good, but quite in a hurry to get to the next patient. I guess that's just how it is when you don't pay in cash... =S

At home, well... my mom's kinda on the second childhood phase. It's really been hard on the family, but especially on me, since I'm the only one living at home. But I'm not washing my hands and saying it's all her. I know there's room for me to grow here, but hey, I'm a work in progress and I told God i might be a slow learner but I was really willing to learn.

So there... just a couple of things I've been busy with these past few weeks... My way of justifying why I havn't been blogging =P